Ogden Nash quotes
A door is what a dog is perpetually on the wrong side of.
A family is a unit composed not only of children but of men, women, an occasional animal, and the common cold.
Candy
Is dandy
But liquor
Is quicker.
I think that I shall never see
a billboard lovely as a tree.
Perhaps, unless the billboards fall,
I'll never see a tree at all.
Middle age is when you've met so many people that every new person you meet reminds you of someone else.
Parents were invented to make children happy by giving them something to ignore.
People who have what they want are fond of telling people who haven't what they want that they really don't want it.
People who work sitting down get paid more than people who work standing up.
Progress might have been all right once, but it has gone on too long.